GOOD NEWS!

I know I won't be the only one in the blogosphere to write about this, but I can't seem to stop myself. I won't often blog about politics, since there are so many who can do that much better than I, but a lot of political issues--or issues with a political side to them--have been weighing heavy on my mind lately.  The US economy is in the tanker, we are at war in Iraq, hundreds of thousands of people in this country have no health insurance or not-good-enough-and-way-too-expensive health insurance...  I could go on.  And on.

But the media understands our need for a glimpse of hope, for some sort of light in the darkness that seems to be covering our national landscape.  I go to CNN's homepage today and it's as though an angel has come along to say "Don't despair!  There is wonderful news in the world, too!"  What could it be? The headline reads: Paris Hilton's Dogs Alive and Well.   

Oh.  Well.  Thank GOD for that! Seriously? 

In case you're one of those who has been lying awake nights tossing and turning over rumors that Paris' pups were eaten by a coyote, rest assured.  Paris has had a doggie mansion built for her pampered pups (I love alliteration) and, according to Paris' rep, the doggie mansion (or puppy paradise) is "very secured."  PHEW.  

I'll admit to following a certain amount of celebrity gossip, but I wonder if there should be a line drawn somewhere.  If I were a Texan who had just lost her home, for instance, how would I feel about finding the Paris puppy story on the front page of CNN?  I don't honestly know the answer to that. What do you think? Are stories like this a fun distraction from our problems, or just plain silly--or worse?

The Purple-Haired Teen

Oldest Daughter is away this week, visiting friends who live in another state. This after already attending two different sleep-away camps this summer. I'm so glad that she's had wonderful opportunties to do these things, and even more glad that, after this week, she'll be home and staying put. I miss her! Of course, Two Year-Old helps put things in perspective. This evening, three days after putting Oldest Daughter on a plane, I asked The Little One where her sister was. "She's in her room. Still sleeping," responded The Little One. And it's true, I'm discovering, that when you have a teen you don't necessarily see a lot of them, even when they are home. They like to sleep late. They like to stay in their rooms and talk to their friends on the phone for hours.

Later this evening I got a text message from Oldest Daughter. "I'm thinking of dying my hair dark purple. What would you say about that?" My husband's response was, "Of course. It's her hair." In principle, I agree with him. But I also cringe, remembering my own high school years and one perm gone VERY wrong. (I'd post a picture of it, but I don't think anyone in my family was mean enough to ever take one.) I'd love to spare my daughter similar Horrifying Hair Mistakes. But what do I know? Perhaps dark purple is her color.

Deep thought of the day

I kind of get the idea behind chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, but really, why do we have to bother with the ice cream?

Just a little more, please.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how hard (ok, impossible) it seems to be for us humans to be fully content with what we have. I don't think of myself as being very materialistic, so I wasn't really aware that this inability to be content is a problem for me until I noticed what inevitably happened to ALL of my if-I-win-the-lottery fantasies. (Ok, so the very fact that I entertain fantasies of winning the lottery--even though I never play the lottery--should have tipped me off.) The thing is, it doesn't matter how much imaginary money I win: it is NEVER enough. First of all, you've got to pay taxes. Then there's the 10% (or more) to give to charitable causes, after which we can pay off our debts, put away enough for all of our children's college educations, help my parents afford to retire... If you're a math whiz, you've already figured out that I need to have won a pretty sizeable lottery, and that's even before we trade in our starting-to-falter cars for shiny new ones. By the time I'm done, I've ended up feeling incredibly frustrated and--here's the good part--mostly glad that I don't ever bother playing the lottery.



This problem doesn't only pertain to money; I have similar issues with time. When I heard lately that one of my mom's friends had taken care of her grandchildren for several days, I thought, "That's so unfair! Why doesn't anyone ever volunteer to watch my children for even just a day? I'd be so happy with just a day!" Immediately I began to fantasize about what I would do for a day without my children in the house. I deliberately tried to aim low: no days at the spa for me, just time to do some of the things I'd like to do (sit and read in peace and quiet) or need to do (finally organize my closets). And guess what? Just as with my lottery fantasy, this one ended up with me feeling frustrated. Just one day without the children wouldn't even begin to give me enough time. I need more! More, more, more!



It doesn't necessarily sound like a big deal when I'm talking about my lottery and childless-for-a-day fantasies, but I actually think this whole thing is a huge deal. After all, it's what lead to the original sin in the Garden of Eden. Well, no, I think the original sin was much more complicated than that, but at least part of what was happening there was a play on Adam and Eve's inability to be content with what they had. They had paradise, they had a terrific relationship with God, they had each other, and still... that serpent was able to get to them by making them discontent with what they had. "There's this one thing you don't have, don't you think you should be able to have that, too?"



I deliberately practice being grateful for what I have, the material blessings as well as the many other blessings in my life, but it's not always easy. It's a hard thing to teach my children, too. They know that we have a lot, we talk about how most children in the world live, and I know they're grateful for what we have. Still, they have a lot of friends who have things we simply can't afford, and it's hard not to be sucked into wanting more, more, more!



I have a few little tricks that help me. I try to remember to thank God specifically for what I have (again, not just the material stuff), and I do my best to stay away from malls, because I've found that they breed discontent in me. How do you remain content? What tricks do you have?

Guacamole Ukulele Song

While I'm finding time to finish my entry on slowing down, please enjoy this awesome happy song!

Update, and another reason I love my husband:

My husband managed to find these cleats for middle daughter, who squealed with delight and said, "Oh, they're so glamorous! Just what I wanted!"

Sometimes life is wonderful in completely unexpected ways.

The Onion makes me laugh

Finally, someone with authority speaks with common sense on how to deal with traffic problems!

I Don't Know Anything

Few things in life are more humbling than being a parent. My children conspire daily to show me that I really have no idea what I'm doing. You may have already read how I failed at the conversation about sex. Recently I was stumped by a 22 month-old who wouldn't say "sorry" to conclude her time-out. She'd had a few time-outs before, even put her baby doll in "TINE-OUP! more than once. She knew the routine well enough, knew exactly what was expected of her. She hugged me, but she was NOT going to say she was sorry. Frankly, I was torn. Should I keep making her stay in time-out until she actually said the magic word when the truth of the matter was, she probably wasn't sorry? Would I be teaching her to lie if I insisted? Supernanny, where are you when I need you?
Then there are the times when it's not so much that I don't know what to do, but that I simply don't know where my children came from. Most often this is because they are far more wonderful than I can account for, but sometimes it's because I just don't get them.

When it comes to fashion, Oldest Daughter is a lot like me. Not in the sense that I would wear an orange and black striped t-shirt with a pink and turquoise flowered skirt, but in the sense that she wears what's comfortable and what SHE likes, not what any fashion dictates. Middle Daughter (who will soon be 10) is another story entirely. Thanks to her grandmother who takes her on frequent trips to consignment stores in wealthy areas of town, she owns more pairs of shoes than the rest of her family combined and is totally on top of all that's trendy. I don't understand this part of her personality, but I've made peace with it. Or I thought I had. This morning she took it to a new level, though. As she was getting ready for today's soccer game, she told me that her soccer cleats are getting tight on her toes. After determining that this was in fact the case, I told her I'd get her some new cleats before her next game. "Ok Mommy," she said, "but can I please come with you? I want to pick out some that are fashionable." She saw the look on my face and laughed, but I know she wasn't deterred. When we go shopping, I'll be looking for cleats that fit her and seem comfortable, while she'll have her eye out for pink cleats with high heels and lots of sparkles.

Oprah working for Satan! (?)

A few weeks ago, one of the moms in our play group told me about a book she was reading, which was apparently part of some big Oprah thing. She got a far-away look in her eyes and said the book was so amazing, she felt like it was going to change her life. I wanted to ask her more about it, but, surrounded as we were by about twelve children under the age of three, we were unable to complete any more full sentences that day.
Not long after, I got a couple of emails forwarded to me, warning me about "Oprah's Church." Some quotes from these emails:
"This is scary stuff!"
"This is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!"
"The devil is using Oprah Winfrey! Beware!"

As it turns out, the book my fellow mom was talking about was Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. Oprah is promoting it in a huge way, and there are online courses on his book that are drawing millions, according to Oprah's website. A lot of people (including CELEBRITIES(!)) are really excited about this book. And Eckhart Tolle says that the view of spirituality he teaches does not interfere with religion.
So what's the big deal? Why are some Christians getting so worked up about this?
I have a lot of thoughts on this, but I'll stick to two for now. The first is that, for whatever spiritual truths Eckart Tolle may or may not be on to, he couldn't be more wrong on one count. He claims that there is no conflict between his teaching, "which is purely spiritual" and any religion. Yet, he is emphatic about the fact that there are many paths lead to spiritual freedom and peace, which actually directly contradicts Christianity. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." There IS a contradiction here. Certainly Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, and anyone else has the right to believe that there are many paths to God. What bothers me about this is how they emphatically refuse to acknowledge that their belief does indeed contradict Christianity.
The second is that there's a huge hypocrisy in what Tolle and Oprah say. I'm reading Timothy Keller's book, The Reason for God, and he puts it this way:
"Ironically, the insistence that doctrines do not matter is really a doctrine itself. It holds a specific view of God, which is touted as superior and more enlightened than the beliefs of most major religions. So the proponents of this view do the very thing they forbid in others."
Food for thought, maybe? What do you think?

Children and Sex

"So, how old were you the first time you had sex?" my nearly-fourteen year-old daughter asked me the other day as I was driving her to a friend's birthday party.
"Uh... Well... Hmm... Oh wow! Look at those pretty tulips! We should have planted tulips at our house!" was my brilliant response. (I know, I know... now I'll have people flocking to me for parenting advice.)
What I'd like to know is, how did my baby get to be nearly fourteen? When did that happen? And how am I going to catch up with her? I don't feel nearly mature enough to be having this type of conversation!
It all started with a discussion about her favorite books, Stephanie Myer's Twilight saga. My daughter said that some of her friends were uncomfortable reading the books, "because of the sex" in them.
"HUH?" I asked. I've read the books myself (and was captivated by them), and very clearly recall that there was NO ACTUAL SEX in them. And I would have noticed, having read them with my daughter in mind.
"Well, there's a part where Edward and Bella are in Bella's room, and he touches her leg... and then, well, it's because Bella wants to have sex with Edward, even though they don't."
"Oh, I see," I say, and offer up silent praise to God for providing my daughter friends who are such, well, prudes.
Then she hit me with the terrible above-mentioned question. In the end, the answer I gave her was, "I was MUCH too young, really, and I promise we'll talk more about it but I'm not quite ready for this discussion yet." Besides, we had arrived at the party by this time.
"Ok," she said, and I was off the hook. For a while.

This morning my nearly two year-old daughter and I were in the bathroom when her daddy got out of the shower. This wasn't the first time she had ever seen Daddy just after a shower, but it was the first time she ever seemed to notice his penis. "Look!" she said, pointing to it, "TAIL!"
Oh, sweet girl... please stay this innocent for a long time.

Join Me

for all those things I'd like to have conversations about but most often don't.

Because I'm busy, or other people are busy, or we're distracted by work and must-do's and children who need our attention (now!).

I am seldom alone, and yet--because of all of the above--I often long for more connection, for a chance to more fully form and express my thoughts on politics and religion and American Idol and YouTube and good books and yummy food and parenting and relationships and so on and so on.

Of course, conversations are much more interesting if they're not one-sided, so I'm hoping you'll join me by commenting.

Let the conversations begin!