Update, and another reason I love my husband:

My husband managed to find these cleats for middle daughter, who squealed with delight and said, "Oh, they're so glamorous! Just what I wanted!"

Sometimes life is wonderful in completely unexpected ways.

The Onion makes me laugh

Finally, someone with authority speaks with common sense on how to deal with traffic problems!

I Don't Know Anything

Few things in life are more humbling than being a parent. My children conspire daily to show me that I really have no idea what I'm doing. You may have already read how I failed at the conversation about sex. Recently I was stumped by a 22 month-old who wouldn't say "sorry" to conclude her time-out. She'd had a few time-outs before, even put her baby doll in "TINE-OUP! more than once. She knew the routine well enough, knew exactly what was expected of her. She hugged me, but she was NOT going to say she was sorry. Frankly, I was torn. Should I keep making her stay in time-out until she actually said the magic word when the truth of the matter was, she probably wasn't sorry? Would I be teaching her to lie if I insisted? Supernanny, where are you when I need you?
Then there are the times when it's not so much that I don't know what to do, but that I simply don't know where my children came from. Most often this is because they are far more wonderful than I can account for, but sometimes it's because I just don't get them.

When it comes to fashion, Oldest Daughter is a lot like me. Not in the sense that I would wear an orange and black striped t-shirt with a pink and turquoise flowered skirt, but in the sense that she wears what's comfortable and what SHE likes, not what any fashion dictates. Middle Daughter (who will soon be 10) is another story entirely. Thanks to her grandmother who takes her on frequent trips to consignment stores in wealthy areas of town, she owns more pairs of shoes than the rest of her family combined and is totally on top of all that's trendy. I don't understand this part of her personality, but I've made peace with it. Or I thought I had. This morning she took it to a new level, though. As she was getting ready for today's soccer game, she told me that her soccer cleats are getting tight on her toes. After determining that this was in fact the case, I told her I'd get her some new cleats before her next game. "Ok Mommy," she said, "but can I please come with you? I want to pick out some that are fashionable." She saw the look on my face and laughed, but I know she wasn't deterred. When we go shopping, I'll be looking for cleats that fit her and seem comfortable, while she'll have her eye out for pink cleats with high heels and lots of sparkles.

Oprah working for Satan! (?)

A few weeks ago, one of the moms in our play group told me about a book she was reading, which was apparently part of some big Oprah thing. She got a far-away look in her eyes and said the book was so amazing, she felt like it was going to change her life. I wanted to ask her more about it, but, surrounded as we were by about twelve children under the age of three, we were unable to complete any more full sentences that day.
Not long after, I got a couple of emails forwarded to me, warning me about "Oprah's Church." Some quotes from these emails:
"This is scary stuff!"
"This is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!"
"The devil is using Oprah Winfrey! Beware!"

As it turns out, the book my fellow mom was talking about was Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. Oprah is promoting it in a huge way, and there are online courses on his book that are drawing millions, according to Oprah's website. A lot of people (including CELEBRITIES(!)) are really excited about this book. And Eckhart Tolle says that the view of spirituality he teaches does not interfere with religion.
So what's the big deal? Why are some Christians getting so worked up about this?
I have a lot of thoughts on this, but I'll stick to two for now. The first is that, for whatever spiritual truths Eckart Tolle may or may not be on to, he couldn't be more wrong on one count. He claims that there is no conflict between his teaching, "which is purely spiritual" and any religion. Yet, he is emphatic about the fact that there are many paths lead to spiritual freedom and peace, which actually directly contradicts Christianity. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." There IS a contradiction here. Certainly Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, and anyone else has the right to believe that there are many paths to God. What bothers me about this is how they emphatically refuse to acknowledge that their belief does indeed contradict Christianity.
The second is that there's a huge hypocrisy in what Tolle and Oprah say. I'm reading Timothy Keller's book, The Reason for God, and he puts it this way:
"Ironically, the insistence that doctrines do not matter is really a doctrine itself. It holds a specific view of God, which is touted as superior and more enlightened than the beliefs of most major religions. So the proponents of this view do the very thing they forbid in others."
Food for thought, maybe? What do you think?

Children and Sex

"So, how old were you the first time you had sex?" my nearly-fourteen year-old daughter asked me the other day as I was driving her to a friend's birthday party.
"Uh... Well... Hmm... Oh wow! Look at those pretty tulips! We should have planted tulips at our house!" was my brilliant response. (I know, I know... now I'll have people flocking to me for parenting advice.)
What I'd like to know is, how did my baby get to be nearly fourteen? When did that happen? And how am I going to catch up with her? I don't feel nearly mature enough to be having this type of conversation!
It all started with a discussion about her favorite books, Stephanie Myer's Twilight saga. My daughter said that some of her friends were uncomfortable reading the books, "because of the sex" in them.
"HUH?" I asked. I've read the books myself (and was captivated by them), and very clearly recall that there was NO ACTUAL SEX in them. And I would have noticed, having read them with my daughter in mind.
"Well, there's a part where Edward and Bella are in Bella's room, and he touches her leg... and then, well, it's because Bella wants to have sex with Edward, even though they don't."
"Oh, I see," I say, and offer up silent praise to God for providing my daughter friends who are such, well, prudes.
Then she hit me with the terrible above-mentioned question. In the end, the answer I gave her was, "I was MUCH too young, really, and I promise we'll talk more about it but I'm not quite ready for this discussion yet." Besides, we had arrived at the party by this time.
"Ok," she said, and I was off the hook. For a while.

This morning my nearly two year-old daughter and I were in the bathroom when her daddy got out of the shower. This wasn't the first time she had ever seen Daddy just after a shower, but it was the first time she ever seemed to notice his penis. "Look!" she said, pointing to it, "TAIL!"
Oh, sweet girl... please stay this innocent for a long time.

Join Me

for all those things I'd like to have conversations about but most often don't.

Because I'm busy, or other people are busy, or we're distracted by work and must-do's and children who need our attention (now!).

I am seldom alone, and yet--because of all of the above--I often long for more connection, for a chance to more fully form and express my thoughts on politics and religion and American Idol and YouTube and good books and yummy food and parenting and relationships and so on and so on.

Of course, conversations are much more interesting if they're not one-sided, so I'm hoping you'll join me by commenting.

Let the conversations begin!